Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dreaming of a white... Holocaust Memorial Day?










A nice view out my window this morning. I think we ended up getting a little over an inch, but it's not like I am good at knowing how much snow there has been!



The alternate campus a few miles away where I have stats this semester was pretty pretty:

Monday, January 26, 2009

Quotatious



stop sending happy emoticons about a shell of a life
-S
A little sassy don't you think?

Friday, January 23, 2009

A New Era

So minus the shitty update of Sunday evening, I haven't updated this thing since I got settled in back at school for semester #2. Like I mentioned before, it really is a little weird to be back. I still can't quite put my finger on it but my relationships with some people here have definitely altered. Wonder if it's because of not caring about each other over break. Doesn't really matter what it is.

Forgive me if I sound a little emo right now. I haven't quite ridded myself of everything I was exposed to at a PostSecret event I attended tonight. Frank Warren, the creator of it, came here on his tour of college campuses to give his presentation and hold a bit of open discussion. First things first, his voice is creepily annoying. It's sort of a cross between kindergarten teacher and psychiatrist with extra fake happiness inserted in there somehow. Now okay, whatever, doesn't really matter, but it combined with his permanent smile made me think he was faking all emotion and really some depressed dude. Kind of threw me off the whole time. The discussion time was different than I thought it would be. I guess I should have expected a self-selected audience of 1,500 to include those willing to share dark secrets, but it still seems weird.

It might just be me, but hear me out on this. Writing/drawing/arting the fact that you almost killed yourself onto an anonymous postcard for the world to see as a vehicle of expression makes sense. You release it and it's out there but still your secret in all practical ways. Standing up in a theater of 1,500 peers and half-sobbing through a story about almost killing yourself makes a lot less sense. Yes, you get it out there, but it's no more effective than just telling people you see on the street or in class or whatever. Loses a lot of its luster for me. I'm sure it helps people somehow, but it also seems to be a huge attention-grabbing thing. But then again that's the main reason behind most half-assed suicide attempts anyway.

Warren also repeatedly extolled the virtues of a toll-free suicide hotline (1-800-SUICIDE) and how it has saved tons of lives. Sounds like a good idea and there is no reason to be against it, but the political scientist inside of me questions his data. How many people who decide to call in to a hotline like that actually want to kill themselves? Not very many. People who call in want to be talked out of it and will take any excuse to get out of it. Where do you think all the "I was going to kill myself but the cashier smiled at me so I didn't" stories come from? People who actually want to die just do it, they don't make calls and talk about it in filled theaters.

I do respect the one brave guy who stood up and defended suicide as a courageous move. Not something to be supported necessarily but also not something to be labeled as illogical behavior. My argument against suicide is that it doesn't really get me anything. Either there is an afterlife and I just spiked any chance at heaven I ever had by committing the ultimate sin of ending myself, or there isn't and I am just over now. I guess being over could have its advantages when looked at from the depths of depression, but it's just so un-American to not think you have another shot. Unless doctors have given you a death sentence or something similar. Then sell your house and have fun traveling until it gets too painful.

It does scare me how many people I have known in my life have contemplated or tried to kill themselves though. It's nice that they are all failures.

I'm also not sure I understand the current obsession society has with letting go of secrets. Secrets aren't unhealthy. It's how you know you have a grasp on life. Every time Warren referred to the "inner darkness" (his kindergarten-esque euphemism for suicidal thoughts) and how sharing releases it I wanted to ask why we want our outer world to be more dark. Also the bullshit that is him referring to stories from his past that he has told thousands across the country as secrets. No dude, those are shitty anecdotes you use to help sell books, not secrets. Also constantly calling himself an artist. Sure dude, in the broadest sense you are, but have a slice of humble pie once in a while.

He was like a motivational speaker but instead of motivating one from being average to being great, he was attempting to move people from being terrible to acceptable. Not exactly inspirational.

I end this way-too-long section with two poems from Amiri Baraka:

Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus...

Things have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there...
Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands


Monday in B-Flat

I can pray
all day
& God
wont come.

But if I call
911
The Devil
Be here

in a minute!


Inauguration day was ridiculous. Make sure that some time in your life you make an effort to get out to an event with a gargantuan crowd. Simply having 1.8 million other people alongside you creates incredibly energy. Standing around in the cold for a few hours to see 20 minutes of an acceptably good speech (more on that in a bit) isn't the most fun thing in the world, but being there for history really is great. I can't wait to tell my kids (and grandkids) that I was there.

We went around 8 am and got up to the third jumbotron back in the non-ticketed area, which was close enough for a pretty good view of the capitol, even if we couldn't really see any of the people upon it. The screen worked pretty well for that. I can't believe they screwed up the oath. Only in real life.

My two favorite moments from the speech:
1) "We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers."
For what I think has been pointed out as the first time in a major presidential speech, atheists are included. I also love the fact that he didn't use a bible at his second swearing in. Go go Obama!
2) "As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals."
I think this is the line that is going to resonate from this speech throughout his term and maybe history. It so perfectly encapsulates his world view as being more than black and white.

As I mentioned above, I didn't think it was the greatest thing he's ever done, but it fit the moment well. A speech full of lofty rhetoric would not have suited a moment where he was calling on the country to come together not to succeed but to not fail (kind of like an appropriate application of Warren's fucked logic, in a way).

I put this list together for S, but thought some of you might be interested. The biggest speeches of Obama's career in chronological order:
2002 Anti-War
2004 Keynote
Announcement
JJ Dinner +
Iowa ++
Race
St. Paul +++
DNC
Election Night
Inauguration
For anyone wondering, no we are not a "post-racial" nation. We're improving little bit by little bit, but we have a long way to go.
My internship and classes have both been progressing without too much of an issue. My internship feels shorter than it is, which is very nice. I was worried going in that the end of every day would be constant staring at the clock mentally ready to leave. You know, the state I am in by the end of my packed Tuesday and Thursday schedules (8 am to 6 pm with a lunch break may not have been the best of ideas...).

With the internship, it's certainly not that I am getting to work on especially cool tasks, but more that I am understanding more every day of simply how the office works and how the Congressman's life is run. Pretty interesting stuff. Plus I get to go to plenty of cool places. Not every job lets you get lost for a while in the basement of the U.S. Capitol building while looking for a House committee room. I might be crazy to be doing this, but I think it may just pay off in the long run.

My most interesting class this semester is my history course, covering "Race and Politics in the U.S. since 1945." We began with discussion of Obama and have now reversed course to cover Reconstruction. It can be a bit intimidating to be a white freshman in a class full of upperclassmen with a heavy sprinkling of African ancestry. Somewhat surprisingly enough, the most heated of dialogues have been between the black students and the students who happen to be black. They all need to read some Ta-Nehisi Coates and reflect. The biggest barrier for me in the class seems to be the touchy-feely approach of the professor. I am much more into the cynical motives behind the political actions than whether or not Lincoln actually cared about black people.

Shoes.com is amazing. At least so far. Free shipping and free returns for a year means shoe shopping is now a lot easier for me. Nothing like ordering five times as many pairs of shoes as I ever intended on keeping to make sure I got the right size and color. I like my new kicks. (Meher or Neri or somebody, come check that sentence to make sure I used my slang right!!!)

I need to get ahead on school stuff this weekend to keep from drowning in it (a 4-day weekend full of inaugural celebration didn't exactly lend itself to doing extra work). More than that I need to have random conversations with some of you I haven't talked to in a while. Don't fail me.

Next time I will try to not wait so long and hopefully stop myself from going on for six pages when I should be going to sleep instead. Oh well.

P.S. I had decided I felt defrauded by Warren before I went to PostSecret and saw the perfect postcard waiting there to express my feelings about it. He did admit to putting a secret of his own in each of his books... maybe he does it on the site too.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Whew that was a long day

Woke up: 6:45 am
Left: 7:15 am
Concert: 2:30 pm
Home: 5:00 pm

I am tired and sore. Check out the pictures and videos on facebook if you want to see it from my view. Here are some press shots of the whole crowd:



Pretty good acts, even if the sound system was a little flaky. It was fun. Wish I could have shared it with you guys.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dddddavis (again)

Was fun. The trip up with Neri and Natalie, made longer by the traffic we ran into, was perfectly accompanied by a playlist of retro music from our childhoods--the kind of stuff everyone knows the lyrics too. Tons of fun to sit there and have the whole car singing along to some Blink 182.

First night of Davis was pretty good. It was weird to be with some of the people there, but nice to see them again and get to catch up a bit and just plain hang out. Some great stories came from these hours.

Second night of Davis was okay. The sketchy apartment put a bit of a damper on the fun, but Ryan had my back and was keeping me pretty well entertained (along with Natalie, but that was mostly inadvertent on her part).

The very quick drive home, this time with Arjun swapped in for Neri, went fine. Arjun is a good backseat sleeper, haha. Sad to say goodbye to everyone, but nice to spend a couple solid last days with them before leaving for a long while again.

Getting up before the sun is never fun, but when you get to catch up on the sleep a little on the plane it isn't so bad. Always nice to run into people you know in the airport who end up on your flight, as well. Lessens the boredom of waiting to board. And yes, large woman next to me, I did see you peeping my iPod screen while I was watching a movie on it. You are not sly.

It's a bit odd to be back on campus and seeing everyone here again. Haven't quite figured out why it's so weird, but it is. If you amateur psychologists want to help me out, please do your best.

Not very excited for classes to start tomorrow. Very excited for my internship to start on Wednesday. Moderately excited for the inaugural festivities. The opening event at the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday before a lot of tourists get in may be especially great.

People need to stop making New Years resolutions to work out more and lose weight. I prefer my gym mostly empty and easy to use, thank you very much.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bored... so bored...

Could you all come back from school for another week? k, thanks, great.

Today I channeled some of my boredom into improving this space. Peruse the column to your right to see what I put together. Bunch of political stuff and books. Doesn't that just sounds like a lot of fun to be had??

Sunday, January 4, 2009

There should be more rap songs about Helen Keller

For those of us on blogger, meaning pretty much all of us, there is a nifty thing I think we should take advantage of. On the Post Blog screen, if you select Post Options, you can change the date of the blog post. If you set it to a future date, it will automatically post at that date. I am about to write one to show up at the end of the semester. It's like a mini time capsule of awesome!

If you use some other service, there are probably similar things available to you there.

Also, I am too quick for cameras. 1 - 2 - 3. Notice the patten?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Quite a year

I think that this may be a year I remember for the potential of technology being realized. 2008, a year that lasted 366 days and 1 second included a presidential campaign made possible by the fundraising power of the internet, an Olympics with more hours of broadcast online than on tv, and of course 573 new photos of me tagged on Facebook. We all know which of those three is most important.

Of course, I will remember 2008 as the year I graduated high school and began college. It really was a great year in that respect, as I had the joy of second-semester seniority, a relaxed summer, and a nice transition across the country for school. I would say that I am going to miss 2008, but I don't really see any reason why going forward won't be just as fun. I refuse to be one of those losers who thinks of high school as the best time of their life (props on this thought, Mr. J). Yeah, I will never again have the freedom I have experienced over the past year, as I start an internship in less than two weeks and expect to have a job over the summer from now on, but that's okay. It is the natural evolution of things. I love how easy it is to get together to do stuff at the spur of the moment (which hotforwords needs to do a segment on), thanks to both the technology of text messaging (get on board or be left behind, C) and the flexibility of those I surround myself with.

It was a big year for me personally as well. I feel more at home with my friends than I ever have before. Some of this definitely comes from leaving for school and discovering who I actually missed much. Some of it comes from the changes that have definitely occurred in who I hang out with regularly. These two holiday breaks so far have been pretty amazing, and I am glad that there is a nice group of people who enjoy each other and accept me.

If a year ago you sat me down and told me I would be constantly hanging out with M, seeing this much of R, and actually getting to know C, I probably would have laughed a little and doubted your complete sanity. It's been great peeps, and we should keep it up, mmKay?

It continues to fascinate me how much history people have. Knowing someone at the moment is really a lot different than knowing how they got there, and it often surprises me to hear about that path, even moreso when it comes straight from them. It's a nice change from petty drama to hear some reasonable backstory.

Watching the few '09ers I know make their own adjustments is a lot of fun as well. I think that MV was great for me, and has set me up quite well in terms of education. Seeing younger people who still hate it in the moment, and bond over that fact, makes me a little warm inside. Good to know the place hasn't changed.

Where to go from here? Well up of course. Silly. I have quite a variety of things I want to accomplish in 2009. The one that sits in the forefront of my mind currently is finding out whether or not I can take the grueling situation I have set up for myself next semester. I have always thought I liked being under pressure and now we'll see whether or not that is true in the long term. If it's not, it could throw quite a wrench in the works of my life plan.

I wanted to learn how to straight razor shave but I think I am going to put that off for some time when I have more money sitting around. Had not realized how expensive all that crap is! I'll substitute in the most cliché of resolutions and say I want to keep my weight. New Years Morning: 159.0. Good luck to me on that. Ugh, should have eaten more last night to artificially raise it, haha.

My main non-professional goal is to keep up the friendships I have right now as well as develop new ones. As my new (technology reigns supreme once again) friend S mentioned, it is a daunting thing to talk to people you have seen around a lot but never had any sort of a real interaction with. That's something I need to get over post-haste and get to know the interesting people who I come in contact with. That all is less important than maintaining what I have now. This might be the first year where I am happier with what I have in terms of friends than what I could have. Cool.

S, I'm glad you have been enjoying our random conversations. They have been a nice release and I'm glad you like them and don't find them creepy. It's been fun for me too, and hopefully that will continue. If you can ignore the promiscuity of the host, you'll probably love the hotforwords link above.

I can't believe people are already starting to pack up and leave to go back to school. I haven't seen some of you enough, but have seen everybody at least a little bit (I think!).

Anyone who is thinking about coming out to the east coast to visit this semester should make sure to keep me updated. Whether or not you come to DC, it's pretty easy for me to move around to other big cities on the right coast, so keep me in the loop, k?

Oh, and I can't decide whether I like the whole first-letter way of referring to people on here. It alternately pisses me off and makes me giggle. Whatever.

I didn't quite hit a thousand words, so don't complain about this being long and wandering. Deal with the non-cohesiveness.