Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Life+

I've never so frequently alternated between having things be great and having them not be great. It's kind of exciting on some level, but then again I guess I really would just prefer constant greatness.

Anyway, one thing that isn't great is that you don't have a tumblr yet. Go get one. Now.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tumble, tumble, tumble

I've decided Tumblr is a much easier platform for sharing my thoughts/quirks/life with you people.

I'll still be back here occasionally for the more thoughtful or private moment, but will be much more active over there.

VaguelyCycnical Tumblr // The RSS Feed

Hopefully it will be a nice mix of nerdy political/other things and life stuff.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Things That Make You Smile

Date: Wed, Dec 2, 2009 at 12:23 AM
Subject: trying to find someone: 80691_200903
To:


Hi everyone. This is kinda embarrassing but im trying
to find someone that's in the class. All I really kno
about him is that he has these incredible blue eyes.
If you get this message I just wanted to say hey and
let u kno that as much as I like starting at
those eyes from across the room I'd like it even
more if I got to kno more about u. Ur welcome to
sit with me in class this thursday, if not its no
big deal. Ciao.
--
Also: Forwarded e-mail about a certain fraternity hopeful.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Life Update

Written in the style of an e-mail to the Grandparents... because that's what it is.

--

Overall, I'm having another good year, and am looking forward to both Christmas vacation and next semester.

The semester started out a little bit rocky for me. I ended up being assigned to the worst (half-)sophomore dorm on campus, in a single. It was far from the center of things and just not a great experience. With most of my friends living completely diagonally across campus, it was not a very good situation. I find more and more each year how much I like to be around people, and being isolated in a single room felt more like solitary confinement. Luckily(!) I was able to swap rooms with someone else less than a month into the semester. I ended up moving into what is probably the second nicest dorm on campus, with 3 roommates, and am enjoying life a lot more now. It's much closer to both classes and friends, and just generally is a much happier place.

The other thing that was causing me to be somewhat unhappy was how much free time I had. It sounds a little weird, but after the whirlwind of classes and internship that was last spring, just taking classes left me with so many empty hours that I felt a little bit useless. Luckily (again!) a spot opened up on the board of the main student organization I have been involved with on campus, the College Democrats. I beat out 25 other applicants for the position and got on the board about a month and a half ago. Especially in the run-up to the November election, we had a very busy event schedule and lots of interesting people circulating around. Since then it has slowed down a little bit, but continues to be a great experience. It's definitely filling up a ton of my free time and is serving as a good avenue to meet lots of new (politically-interested) people.

We are the largest student organization on campus, with 1,100 current members and an e-mail list of over 5,500 past and current students. Most weeks we have 3 or 4 events, with each attended by a good group of members. We try to have good variety in our programming, so sometimes it is just a speaker while other times it's an educational program or event geared toward advocating our policy preferences. We have had a lot of really interesting speakers thus far, and have some more big names planned for the spring. David Plouffe, Obama's 2008 campaign manager, has been our biggest so far, and most personally exciting, since he is pretty much who I want to be when I grow up. Others from the top of my head were Reps. Filner, Rahall, Conyers, and Israel; former VP Walter Mondale; Michael Moore; and former Secretary of Commerce and Transportation Norm Mineta, whose PAC ran a day and a half long campaign training seminar that I attended on campus. The airport we often fly out of in San Jose is named after him, so it was nice to get to meet him!

Classes are pretty bland this semester. I'm fulfilling my political thought distribution requirement, and philosophy has never been a passion of mine, so I am pretty much just counting down the days until that is done. My International Political Economy class is more interesting than I thought it would be, especially in light of our current crisis situation. Surveying and Sampling is taught as a discussion-based statistics course, which is pretty odd, but sometimes fascinating. My favorite class is probably my introductory journalism writing class, where I get to play with words and have fun writing. My professor was a founding partner at USA Today, wrote some books uncovering the New York mob, and now works at the Center for Public Integrity (a non-profit investigative research institution), and is absolutely full of stories. As I mentioned before, I am taking Chinese currently, and it is definitely not easy. Learning the characters and the tones to go with every syllable is pretty intense, but is going surprisingly well. That being said, I think this will be my only semester of the language. Just don't have a passion for it. 我不喜欢说中文。(I don't like to speak Chinese.)

I'm planning on having an internship again next semester, and have worked out a class schedule conducive to it. I'll be having class only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, pretty much all day, leaving the rest of the week open to internship work. I'm hoping that I can land a paid internship at a political consulting/vendor firm. My current top choice is with a company that researches and designs congressional and campaign websites, with a heavy dose of nerdy data analysis. Another potential option is with the firm that produced all of the direct mail pieces for Obama's 2008 campaign. If I can't secure a paying position, I'll probably end up somewhere like the Democratic Governors' Association (DGA) where I can be close to campaign management teams. I began sending out resumes and letters of interest this past week and am starting to get a slow trickle of responses, so hopefully something works out!

My classes next semester are nothing too special, aimed mostly at fulfilling distribution requirements and fitting into an internship-friendly schedule. I think Legislative Politics should be interesting, as well as Media Law, though.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are both fast approaching! Tickets home for the short Thanksgiving break were too expensive, so I am relaxing in DC and staying with [cousins] for the holiday. It will be very nice to get quality cooking into me and some good relaxation time. Although with a big paper due the Monday after, there may not be tons of that!

I hope that you are both doing well and aren't having to do too much to have an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Claptrap

Haven't updated in a while... don't feel like writing something long.

Been to a bunch of really cool events recently and have met a bunch of interesting and/or famous people. College Dems is continuing to keep me busy. Classes are boring. I have a girlfriend. She's cute. My roommates are still kind of weird. I'm sad I am not coming home for Thanksgiving. Christmas break will be good. Internship hunting is monotonous and ongoing.

Love,

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween

Yeah, I'm going to be looking great tonight.

Here's to breaking my long tradition of shitty Halloweens. Really the only good one was when I met all of you people. Oh target costumes.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

For the Win

I love being happily busy enough to not have the time/inclination to write much on here.

Life's been good. The college dems position I'm in now is certainly a large time commitment, but continues to be a good experience. A lot of opportunities to do cool things and meet interesting people. Yesterday evening I was part of a small group of GW students who went to go "shoot the shit" with the Congressman I interned for (although this was random). Tonight I was at an undergraduate political awards dinner hosted by Ed Henry, Luke Russert, James Kotecki, and a few lesser names. Got bored partway through that and went downstairs to an event about breast cancer with Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Senator Klobuchar, both of whom are generally pretty incredible.

For the political nerd that is me, it's a lot of fun!

Midterms went pretty well, although I haven't gotten any grades back yet, so maybe I should be quiet. Chinese still kicks my ass occasionally, but since I have decided not to take any more of it past this semester, it's not too much of a weight on my shoulders. 你姐! Should be studying for a quiz tomorrow right now, but meh.

I have figured out what classes I want to register in a couple weeks and am starting to look for an internship. All of this is exciting too! My Excel document for choosing classes was much simpler this semester, unlike the triple-color coded beauty of last time.

The new roommates continue to have their quirks, but so much better than living alone in the hellhole that was the previous dorm. I'd rather listen to bible study occasionally than hear nothing but my own thoughts. My roommate (not the other 2 suitemates) seems to pretty much never go to class and sleeps the weirdest hours ever. Glad I have had you all to condition me about what to expect from Azns.

Speaking of Asians... well this can wait until later when I can speak firmly about it. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Expectations

I guess when I have been spoiled in the past and experienced perfection, I really shouldn't let that prevent me from enjoying the really good.

Take it as it comes, Nate, and enjoy it.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Status Quo

I'm happy. It's weird to say, but it's the truth as I have come to understand it.

This is pretty far from where I was a little over a week ago, as I experienced my first anxiety attack ever. Walked around campus and calmed myself by talking to K, who is absolutely amazing. Ended up coming back a little later and I resorted to talking to Katie, who I had avoided conversing with for almost a week in an effort to feel better.

That morning, I had written an emotional letter to her and dropped it in the mail. Such a nice way to release emotions.

By the time the next night was over with, I was happy. It had some to do with getting the position in the college democrats organization I wanted. It had a lot to do with having a fun weekend, which proved to me that I CAN still have fun. But I think it also had a lot to do with a fundamental internal shift away from thinking about what I could have had, and toward thinking about what I want to (and can) have.

I'm back to chasing cute girls and feeling let down when my clever little flirtatiousness is not returned. The thrill of the hunt is livening and something I have really missed. Although also not something I feel like experiencing frequently for TOO long.

Getting the college dems board position has been huge for me so far. Very nice to feel busy again. It's a much more active organization than I had realized even as a relatively active member. So much money involved, and a lot of really dedicated colleagues. Get to do some cool stuff!

P.S. I miss being around asian girls at home who always have their cameras with them and ready to go. My facebook picture list is failure.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ehhh

I think my post on the 24th was false. Or not false, but fleeting. I could almost write a similar one now, but it would probably be just as temporary.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Art of Being Uppity

Words my political philosophy professor, who is stunningly full of himself, used today:
dialectic
renunciation
neuroses
bifurcation
libidinal
sublimating
(A limited selection)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Better...

I think I am genuinely starting to recover from the puddle of depression that so encapsulated the last post. Part of it is perspective. Part of it is enjoying other things. Part of it is distance.
Angle over distance.
As most of you know, I've been on a crusade to make more friends. It isn't going quite as well as if I were a hot girl in a movie, but I have made reasonable progress. Kind of worries me that the progress is less toward a group than a scattershot web of friends only connected to me, but I can think about that some other time.

Friday night I got invited to a party by a girl I met at orientation last year and have made smalltalk with a couple of times since then. So pretty random. I decided to try it out and go. And she wasn't there. Ended up staying and meeting a bunch of new people and not having a terrible time, so that was a nice distracting night.

Saturday night I headed out to S's frat's party. It's a semi-geeky but semi-cool group of guys that generally have mellow but fun parties. Met some fun people and got to spend some time acting like someone else. It was really weird how many random girls from American University were there. Another nice way to distract my brain. Innocently!

Sunday morning I headed out to Pentagon City (which is a mall hooked up to a metro stop conveniently) with A (Katie's biffle who I enjoy as well) for our first cooking class. A free hour-long technique class put on by Williams-Sonoma in the hope that you then buy their stuff. We thought it would be a bit more hands-on than it ended up being, but it was still fun. Free steak is free steak.

So the weekend was pretty good overall and let me really relax in a different sort of way. Two nights of partying in a row. My body didn't like me on Sunday. And once I got that kind of fun out of the way I got to turn to a more intellectual sort...

Monday night was kind of like a dream for me. David Plouffe was speaking at an event co-hosted by the College Democrats and I had a ticket for it as well as the smaller reception afterward. For those who don't know, Plouffe was Obama's campaign manager. The most memorable way he was mentioned during the campaign was by Obama the night he won the general election:
To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.
He's also young. Early 40s. That's pretty ridiculous for the number of successful campaigns he has already won. He is writing a book about the campaign that reportedly got a $1,000,000+ advance for him, and was getting pard ~$16000 for the speech and reception.

His speech was pretty basic. Definitely good and interesting, but nothing too exciting. Not surprising with the amount that I follow this stuff that I felt like a lot of it was regurgitated. Still nice to listen to him up close and hear him answer questions from the audience. He talked a lot about the power of the grassroots and how advertising and speeches only go so far.

I ended up sitting next to and chatting with a girl C, who was as into politics as I am and was matching my witticisms throughout the event. I found a friend!

The reception after was also a blast. Plouffe was obviously a little bit energized by getting to hang out with enthralled college kids instead of wealthy business executives. He stuck around for almost an hour, most of the time surrounded by a throng of students asking him questions and taking pictures. I was early in the crowd to talk to him ("What would you have done differently?") and ended up having a relatively interesting conversation with his handlers off to the side.
He, like Obama, really is very easy going while still being deadly serious when he needs to be. The kind of boss I want to be able to become, if I can figure out a way to chill out a little bit. We'll see...

Last night was another special event. Former Vice President and '84 Democratic Presidential Nominee Walter Mondale was being interviewed and a new documentary about his life was being screened. Before the event started for me, there was a reception upstairs for him and a bunch of people he had worked with over the years, as well as some of his grandchildren.
All these special guests stayed for the interview and documentary (with a fair number appearing in it) and I ended up sitting in a section mostly filled with cranky old men who used to work closely with Mondale. They were shooting political jokes back and forth and laughing their asses off, and it was some good fun. Always nice to end up sitting next to someone interesting as well. Also ended up a few seats away from the reporter who wrote this story. Could see him scribbling furiously as it was being said and had little doubt it would be on the web by the time I got back.
Mondale stuck around for a little bit afterward as well, although in a less formal reception setting. Basically just a throng around the stage. He has definitely lost a step mentally, but is still cunning and was eloquent most of the night. And hilarious with his dry humor in response to Frank Sesno's occasionally assholic questioning.

Tonight was another political event—the College Democrats/College Republicans health care debate. I went with C and it was better than I expected, although I did want to run down to the Dem side a few times and whisper some better talking points in their ears. With how wrong the right is on the issue, the slight win for the blue guys was a little underwhelming.

Sec State Hillary Clinton and Sec Def Bob Gates are coming in a couple of weeks for a joint event. It may end up being very hard to get tickets, but hopefully I can score one.

On another topic, I have been trying to move out of my dorm, and the room swap system finally opened at the start of this week. I got pretty close to swapping into one of the nicest dorms on campus, but met the guy I would be rooming with and ran for my life. Hopefully I don't come to regret that.
And now it's the weekend again and it will be interesting to see if I end up having any night life type fun.

Friday, September 11, 2009

How Fickle!

Okay... prepare yourself to read some angst and deliver some advice in the comments section. Be forewarned, you may be disgusted with me as a person when you finish.

Since my last full entry, kind of a lot has happened:
1) I got to spend a nice long night chatting with C.
2) Katie came up and we went camping in Napa Valley for a couple days.
3) I flew back to DC for school.
4) Katie came to DC to see me/everyone for a long Labor Day Weekend.
5) Emotional period!

Let's cover these in a bit more detail!

1) Thank you. That night really helped me get my thoughts in order before camping and lead me to my own answer on what needed to be done. Now that I am where I am, the effects are still really bothering me, but it's also somewhat clearly the right decision. And even some stuff to keep in mind for the rest of my life! I will force you to have more such conversations in the future.
2) Everything is so much better in person. It's kind of a weird paradox that because seeing her solved some of the issues I was having mentally, I was more secure in my conclusion that long-term long-long-distance would not work. The visits are what make it worthwhile and great, and it simply wouldn't be possible to execute a sufficient number of them. At the same time I occasionally can't quite get past the fact that I am not fighting for something that usually makes me incredibly happy because of what might happen if I do. Oh logic.
The camping itself was fantastic. The site we picked out, at Bothe-Napa Valley State Park (#7), was spacious and clean and just close enough to the creek that the babbling water could soothe us to sleep. We did learn that it's very cold at night in Napa Valley, and that he weren't completely prepared for it. Got through that okay though. Nothing like some creative huddling to warm up. Blanket cocoons saved the night!
We had a small problem with very interested stinging insects while cooking, but took care of that right quick. And had a nice hike on a shady mountainous trail that was kept at the perfect temperature by the midday sun. The trip took a lot of planning, but I'm pretty sure I would do it again, maybe only for someone I like this much though.
3) I took a red-eye the night of Aug 28th and took the metro straight from the airport to school. I reminded myself of a few things. Just because heavy bags have wheels, it does not mean that carting them, plus more heavy luggage atop them, will be easy on the arm muscles when your new shitty ass dorm is fifteen minutes of city from the metro stop.
My room really is in the corner of campus, and is not very large. I organized it pretty well, moving all the furniture to better utilize the space. I also ended up taking a screwdriver to my desk hutch and prying off the back so I can look through it and out the window (into the boring courtyard).

It was nice to meet up with old friends again and catch up on what we did over the summer. And okay to start classes within 48 hours of landing in DC. May as well.
4) Katie's visit was a mixed bag of emotions. There were a lot of people she wanted to see (who knew she was this popular??) and things she wanted to do, and not that many days to do them in. I wasn't quite able to control my angst the first night she was here. I need to be better about this. Not the showing it, but the timing of it. My mind picks pretty terrible times to throw temper tantrums. I need to be better at delaying it for later when it's more appropriate and less painful to those around me. I've conquered my anger issues from adolescence, so this can be next up.
The rest of the visit, minus one additional rather unfortunate hiccup, went really well. I spent a lot more time than I thought I was going to get to with her, and legitimately enjoyed quite a few of her friends. Who, I am now, slowly but surely, trying to make my own as well.
The weekend also spoiled one of my friends for me, who was a bit of a pest the entire time Katie was here and who I can no longer look at quite the same way. I'm sure everyone here remembers the How I Met Your Mother episode where the sound of glass shattering is prevalent. That.
With all that in mind, I cherished pretty much every minute I was with her. Our last night ended with what became our tradition at the end of last year, which is a walk around the lit monuments on the National Mall. Just like in May, it rained on us, but this time it was absolutely pouring for some of it. We persevered and it was a great time. The Lincoln Memorial is such an incredible place.
I hate Super Shuttle. All it holds for me are sad memories.

5) 0 AK (After Katie)
I am not enjoying life right now. Chinese (which I am taking the first course of) is kicking my ass more than I expected, and right now I am pretty much just hoping to get through this semester with a passing grade. Unlike in the spring, I am not happily busy between classes and an internship. I have too much free time to be happy (even after studying Chinese for hours a day) but not enough to do anything real with. Maybe I can find a part time easy job somewhere.
The extra time issue is exacerbated by a couple of things. The larger is that it gives me more time to think. I don't want to think right now. I want to be consumed by whatever I am doing and wake up later in a better state of mind. The other is that my current dorm is way off in the corner of campus, making it more difficult to utilize my free time in an enjoyable way, since friends aren't across the hall anymore. As soon as room swap opens up (3 weeks into the semester) I will be trying to get out of this personal hell. I need a roommate and to be close to people I know.

On a happier note, I read a delightfully snarky book about grammar. Eats, Shoots & Leaves.
My biggest fear right now is that this year is going to be a depressing waste of my life. I'm not sure how to save it from being that. And right now all I want to do is think about Katie, which just causes it to spiral a little more.

If I do somehow get better at Chinese and continue it next semester (which would then fulfill my language requirement), that would be another four months without an internship, since it has to meet so many times a week. Not sure if I am willing to give that chance up. Also not sure if I will be home for the summer. Time shall tell...

I leave you by telling you what I am wearing. A delightful new shirt.

This ended up longer than what I think was my previous record! That one is a bit more worldly though...

Monday, September 7, 2009

DC Blues

I don't have the time right now to write the long emo blog post that is inside of me, so it will have to wait for another night.

For now I shall try to distract myself with some pleasure reading. Good idea, S!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Food

I can't stop thinking about it lately.

First, I read Service Included: Four-Star Secrets of an Eavesdropping Waiter by Phoebe Damrosch. She describes working in one of the best restaurants in the nation, and describes it as something pretty irresistible. The attention to detail and every wish of their clients is almost stunning. It really makes me want to go to a restaurant like it sometime in my life, even if it means blowing two weeks of pay on a few hours of eating.

Then I saw Julie & Julia while visiting Katie last weekend, which if you don't know, is all about the famous Julia Child and a blogger trying to cook all of her original recipes in one year. It's definitely not a traditional plot-type movie, but is quite well done and hard to look away from (especially when Merryl Streep is on screen). Once again, they tout an exquisite attention to detail and the joy that food can bring into a situation. I came home from the movie and have wanted to get dirty in the kitchen ever since. I want to be good at it, which is something I doubt will happen until I am old enough to have my own well-stocked kitchen and time to spend in it.

C and I have been planning a kitchen session soon, and it should be fun. But I couldn't wait that long. Decided to go after an easy recipe today and see how it turned out. Someone in my family had mentioned how bad banana bread is for you, so it was a natural choice. After tinkering with the recipe enough to cover the slight inadequacies of my kitchen's supply cabinet and to include some blueberries I was craving, it was done in no time.
It went pretty well. I didn't do a great job transferring it to the baking pan and let the blueberries be mostly on the bottom, and the bread part turned out a little dry and not quite banana-y enough for me, but it's still some good Chocolate Chip Blueberry Banana Bread. Heat it up and toss on some butter and it's heavenly.

(Almost) everyone is off camping and enjoying themselves. I am not. I am sad about this. I am also quickly coming to realize just how little time I have left in my summer. I will be moved into my new (shitty) dorm room by this time two weeks from now. I spent most of the day in a brooding emo angst session, partly without good reason and partly because of stuff with K I just can't quite bring myself to let go (and other stuff I don't want to think about but can't stop myself from). Do I need to learn to give less of myself?

I want everyone back from camping and I want to see people more. Particularly the other C, who I feel like I have been missing all summer after really looking forward to more time with her. She could explain away this angst, I have no doubt.


"I hate laziness. I hate excuse-making. I hate rationalization and self-bullshitting. I hate willful ignorance. I hate watching people piss away their potential. I hate it when people blame everyone but themselves. I hate mental weakness."
Anonymous quote wins.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Four Letter Words

My mind seems full of them.

Currently in upstate New York at the family Camp I go to most summers. A place full of an infinite number of good memories for me. And yet it seems to have lost some of its magic. There have been flashes of brilliance during the week, but also long slogs through monotonous annoyances. What's been going on this week barely resembles what I recall so fondly from my childhood.

Maybe it's just because I was more ignorant then, but I don't think I had fully realized how separate my immediate family is from a lot of the extended family we run into here often. In terms of mindset and life situation, mostly. My brother seems to fall closer to the cousins than to myself and my parents. Can't wait to be rid of him for a while again.

I've decided summer sucks in comparison to shorter school breaks like Christmas and spring break. Everyone gets to encapsulated in doing their own thing that it feels nowhere as cohesive and is simply not as fun. Although I do love the chance to get back into umpiring. Even that is kind of annoying when I realize that the work I am doing and my upward movement in the organization could all be forgotten once I stop coming home every summer. Which could be after this one.

It's weird. At the same time I realize that I am enjoying Camp less than in years past, the only thing I can think about is introducing another to the experience. It would be incredibly different to bring someone, but I have decided it would be much better? Maybe?

I have never been good at living in the moment. Which I think helps me considerably professionally, but isn't the most fun trait currently in other ways.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Summer Sucks

So far.

No job, just parents hassling me extensively every day about trying to get one and failing.

Less fun. Less adventure. Ugh.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fake Summer Vacation

It's been a while since I've blogged. That is the duration of my happiness, basically. Now that I am in a foul mood I can return to the medium with a proper amount of angst.
Visiting Katie in Santa Barbara was fantastigreat. I spent around 5 days in the sun/fog enjoying both her and her friends. The meeting of the parents went pretty well (duh) and I felt like a part of her friend group surprisingly easily. I guess I have been well-trained for hanging out with a bunch of semi-obnoxious girls. Plus, I keep discovering that Katie and I have more in common than I thought. Basically our families are near identical matches for each other, just shifted a little older. It's nice.

It was a nice relief to have the (stretched out) visit go well, too. The first half hour after I arrived was definitely a little weird, if only to be seeing her outside of DC. It was sort of like we both had no idea what we were supposed to be doing and couldn't tell if the other person was the same off-campus. Luckily we got past that and had a blast for the next five days. Which I spent pretty much all of in her presence without tiring of her. Fantastic.

Also shitty due to the whole her-going-abroad-all-of-next-year thing. But I'm not thinking about that yet. Or so I keep telling myself.

Can't wait for her to come up here in a couple weeks and see how she fits in with you all. Will be interesting to watch, at least. (CS2 knows how true this is for me.)
Umpiring has been weird this year. There's an old umpire saying, which is that people expect you to, "be perfect on day one and keep getting better." I missed over half of the season, which is normally the time when everyone is working out kinks. Now I am still in that stage of slight discomfort with my mechanics and inability to focus while everyone else is geared up for the post-season. I have a couple more games this week, then a week off before the important games start. Hopefully I can get both the physical and mental stuff worked out before then and rock out when the time comes. This may be the first time I've ever had any doubts that would happen.

I'm really excited for everyone to be home. Good luck on your finals and (quick!) trips home.

Friday, May 15, 2009

What 2nd Semester Was

This post is a follow up to this one.

Okay, so my predictions weren't great, but they weren't terrible either. Not too shabby overall, I'd say.

While a full class schedule and an internship three days a week was definitely quite a bit to handle, I got through it with minimal damage to my GPA. Learned some new skills because of it too, chief among them being how to function on 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Important for someone in my (hopeful) line of work! The internship was a high point though, not a low one as I had predicted. Ended up being that work days weren't hard to wake up for and I really enjoyed myself. I was right that I would make plenty of connections, but way off on the cynicism.
While I thought I would be on the low end of the cynical spectrum in the office, it was probably the other way around. Most of the staff wasn't very transparently political and focused on the hard work of their substantive jobs. The amount they actually cared about sappy letters I occasionally passed on to them was quite a bit more than I would be able to show. I think it may have done the opposite of what I thought it would and made me want to be in politics more, but definitely on the campaign side where I am free to be a bit more emotionally detached.

The jaded-ness definitely occured, at least a little bit. By the second half of the internship I didn't get excited to speak with the Congressman on the phone or walk through the winding basement of the Capitol. By my last week I was a bit more into the coolness of it all, as I reminded myself to take it in before my ID got taken away and I no longer had access. Might be a while before I have it back.

I was very correct that I would have a fun spring break, without seeing too many people for much of it. The dual C.S.s made my week a blast. And yeah, I'm getting bored out of my mind waiting for people to return home and looking for a job. Hoping I find one soon. The prospect of a Santa Barbara trip sometime soon is also going to remove some boredom. Yay.

I'm kind of surprised that I errored a little bit on predicting my keeping in touch patterns. Had quite a bit less communication with Cupertino people than during first semester. I guess a lot less contact with GW people too. Just too busy to keep up the same level of chit chat as before. Still miss you guys though and am really looking forward to your shitty quarter system schools ending.

This semester made me realize a bit how much I enjoy delving into classes. First semester I had a lot of fun (looking back) actually doing the huge reading assignments for my poli sci class, going through dense articles for interesting tidbits. This semester pretty much everything I didn't have to do got blown off, and I miss the amount of secondary learning I got before. Still got through classes okay, which makes me wonder how people who are getting Cs in these classes manage to fail at life so hardcore. Not like I'm a hard sciences guy or something that requires actual thought.

Have I changed? Yes. Pretty much no doubt in my mind that I am a (slightly) different person than before. I am both more confident in my professional abilities and more mature. Working in an office (even if it wasn't the most serious one on the Hill) has helped me tone down some of the crap when I need to, while not excluding it from my personality as a whole. I was very glad to see that doing well at MV and GW has translated into being able to work well. This internship definitely hasn't harmed my ego.
And that brings me to the other obvious change, to me. I don't know what all I will have learned from Katie by the end of everything, but I know it'll be interesting and probably quite a lot. At least I'll have some stories, no matter what. Right now isn't the easiest time ever, but I was happier (and busier) for the last month of school than I had been in a long time, and I think that's worth some hardship. Especially when that pain can be anesthetized by a few hours in the car (e.g. sb trip mentioned above). I feel like this summer will be different personally than I would have predicted a couple months ago. Hope it's not a bad decision to pursue this and not other things.

But once again, something needs to pierce my ego. Maybe I'll fail to find a job this summer. Maybe I'll just read this in the morning and that will do the trick.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What 2nd Semester Will Have Been Being

This post was written in the early morning hours of January 4th of this year, looking ahead to what I think this semester will have brought me by its end (now). The title is in future perfect progressive, as it describes the ongoing action of 2nd semester before the specified future time of what is now now. Make sense? Good.

That was a pretty hectic semester. Taking 5 classes and doing an internship a full three days a week probably wasn't the best idea I ever had. The internship started out looking really promising but after a few weeks really devolved into boring monotony. Yeah, I met some really great people and made good connections, but I'm not sure just how much I really want to go into politics as a career now. I have always been cynical but the staff's total detachment from anything at all personal was really something I might want to stay away from.

Was killing myself to take full advantage of the opportunity worth it? I guess so. It's a great story to tell and if I can stand the people then the lifestyle the connections and skills I picked up are going to be pretty useful. Just knowing my way around the halls of Congress is pretty cool, although I have now been around it too much to be amazed by any of that. Maybe I am just as jaded.

It's been way, way, way too long since I have gotten to spend time with friends from home. My mid-march spring break wasn't great for getting to see other people, although the few that I did made that week great. Thanks guys (and girl)! I can't wait for everyone to be home in a couple weeks and for summer fun to begin.

Those of you who I have kept up with via the interwebs and cellular telephones are great and really are the ones who have let me keep going this semester. Big thanks to C, C, J, N, N, M, S (good luck these weeks!), and Z. Our assholic rants, deep thoughts, pep talks, chit chat, hilarity, bro talk, perspective, and amusement, respectively, have been my light. College friends are great, but are only so big in my life, while you all are much more of a rock. Please don't move away.

It's going to be really weird to have a job this summer, along with everyone else. I hope no one picks anything too early in the morning that would interfere with late night antics. Thanksgiving and Christmas were needed breaks from school and I expect you all to come through once again over the long summer. [This is an easy prediction to make. No way this fails.]

Classes went pretty well, but not quite as awesome as 1st semester. Spending so much time at the office didn't so much take away my time to do work as mentally exhaust me and make it so I couldn't do work as well. For how bad it could have been, this was really a pretty good result. Still means dropping the GPA from the resumé (rhymes!) but oh well, at least I have some real work experience to put on there now.

Another sacrifice of the internship was any umpiring I thought I could do while at school. Time to shake off the rust, get back out there, and have some fun. The ability to do games may be a breaking point in finding a job. If I can't be doing too much stuff, what is the point of doing any of it?

Have I changed? I don't really think so. I have a better grasp of my abilities and a bit more maturity when I choose to wield it, but I am the same person the vast majority of the time.

What I have left out may be most telling.

Look for a new post coming soon looking at how I did in my predictions and why. If you read this at all regularly then you probably know a lot of the answers yourself. Fill me in in the comments below.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Quirks

I've been failing at blogging regularly, Some combination of being so busy and enjoying life too much to stop and blog about it. Yes, I am only interesting when I'm sad. Woe is me. But now I feel sick and just want to curl up in my bed instead of studying, so time to blog! GW has swine flu, too, so this could really be a lot of fun.

This past week has been pretty damn crazy. Last day of classes was Tuesday, and I had a ton of stuff due that day, so I ended up staying up till past 4 on Monday night before getting up for my 8 am. Got everything done relatively well and turned in and all, so not too bad.

Then I had to get up extra early on Wednesday to go on a White House tour before heading in to work. Pretty cool place, but a pretty underwhelming tour. Just 6ish ceremonial rooms on the first floor of the east wing. Still glad I got the opportunity to do it through work, though.

Thursday was another fun day as I went into work specially to participate in the tradition of a private lunch for outgoing interns and the congressman they work for. Getting to eat in the Member's private dining room is a nice treat any day, especially when the conversation ends up lasting for over an hour and being very interesting. Add a photo op to the day and it was a nice penultimate day of being on the Hill.

My last day or work on Friday certainly came with mixed emotions. Definitely chose the right time to leave, so I have time to study for finals over the next few days, but I really enjoyed the experience and the people in the office. Always nice to get tons of recommendation offers on your way out the door, too. The internship has both reaffirmed my interest in politics and my desire to work on campaigns more than doing actual governing work.

Things continue to be great with Katie, too, minus some drama with a mutual friend. Oh well, nothing can be perfect. The deadline 6 days from now certainly isn't, but it's the right choice for both of us. Expect a mopey me the first couple weeks of summer (not that most of you will be home anyway).

Shout-out to C for being there and willing to talk about shit recently! Much appreciated. Giggle.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Today



(only slightly creepy)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Less than three weeks left...

...so crazy.

I had another great weekend. It's nice to really be enjoying things here as the school year winds down.

Work continues to be pretty good, although I think this week is going to be pretty crazy. Everyone is back from recess and my Friday includes a tour to 75 middle school band geeks. Shoot me. Should still be a good experience though and busy days can be a lot of fun sometimes.

Weekend highlights:
  • Taking some reading and picnic food to the Mall with Katie and Danielle to lounge in the beautiful amazing day on Saturday, before wandering over to the Jefferson memorial and enjoying the views of the tidal basin and city.
  • Wearing shorts.
  • Having dinner in Georgetown and then wandering over to the Kennedy Center and wandering around on the roof there with Katie. Very nice views down the Potomac and across the city.
  • Wearing sandals.
  • Not getting any work done.
Pretty great, huh?

I am both looking forward to the summer and being with all of you again and having truly good times and lamenting the end of what has been a good freshman year. We'll see about sophomore year...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Success!

I had a great weekend. Relaxed and awesome. So many people were out of town for passover/Easter/Congressional recess that the whole city was sort of dead, especially on campus.

I saw Watchmen on Friday night. It is definitely long, obtuse, and complicated, but I enjoyed it overall. I think it helps to see it in an empty-ish theater so that people don't get mad when you whisper questions back and forth while squirming to find a new position for your long-ago-asleep ass.

Also from Friday night. Correct me if I am wrong, but copious amounts of soy sauce don't belong on Chicken Pad See Eww, correct? I get it all the time without problem but this time it was drenched in the salty flavor blaster. Oh well, still okay enough to eat and enjoy the experience.

Saturday night a group of us went to see the fireworks marking the end of the National Cherry Blossom Festival. Got a nice viewing spot looking across a still tidal basin at the Jefferson Memorial, with the fireworks exploding right above. The reflections on the water of the lit monument and the array of fireworks above was like a postcard. Very sweet. Later, it was time to open my shrink-wrapped American Psycho Uncut Version DVD and give it a watch. No clue what they changed, but it's still an amazing movie. I always seem to forget at least a few random ass moments of greatness.

Sunday was time for some quality family time. At 8 am after 4.5 hours of sleep. With two little girls under the age of 7. Hiking and picnicking. Still always nice to see some 2nd and 3rd cousins of mine and keep that connection going.

Okay, so this weekend sounds really lame when I type it out, but I assure you that it was really quite nice. I'm back into a work week about as tired as I left it, which means by the time I get to the end of it I will be hating myself with a passion. I just can't make myself sleep when there are more fun things I could be doing!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Sunday, April 5, 2009

It's hot and it's cold

This weekend was kind of terrible and kind of great. Yeah, one of those.

Friday was my class registration day for next Fall, which meant I had to get up and get on the computer at 7 am sharp to get classes I wanted. Spent a typically long time figuring out what to take and when, especially once upperclassmen filled up some of the cooler classes I was pondering. Well, anyway, I got up on time and got all the classes I planned to. Listed below!
  • Beginning Chinese - Decided to take the plunge and try learning a language that will actually be useful. The 4 days a week of classes is a little gross, but hopefully it goes okay. At least I know plenty of people who can give me tips? Might regret this a lot...
  • Intro to News Writing and Reporting - Excited for this. It's my first non-super-intro class in my planned minor, Journalism and Mass Communication. Going to be plenty of writing, but I think it will still be a pretty good class. This prof is supposed to be great but a hard grader, so we'll see how much I regret this choice later.
  • 20th Century Political Thought - Should be an interesting class at least. I'm such a political science nerd that I'm not too worried about it being too boring. Might end up being terrible if the prof is too existential about the whole thing, but I'll survive.
  • International Political Economy - Fulfilling the end of my international politics requirement and planning to never take anymore... I just don't give a shit. Combines that with econ which just makes it worse. Oh well. Professor supposedly makes it interesting and induces vibrant discussion, but I'm having trouble imagining that happening.
  • Introduction to Sampling - The most politically relevant stats class I could find. I'm enjoying my intro stats course well enough, so I'm hoping this continues that trend. Plus some good stuff for me to know for my planned career. Nice how that works out. Prof reviews are terrible but are mostly from intro courses and center on his thick accent, which doesn't generally bother me too much.
  • Squash! - Never played. Not sure I've ever actually seen a court in real life. I wanted to do something and this is what was the coolest sounding available thing in a workable timeslot. A couple hours a week learning to play and having fun sounds pretty good.
Should be an interesting semester with more writing than I'll probably want to do. With Chinese four times a week and everything else I wanted to do I don't think I'll be able to have an internship stuffed into the schedule too. Maybe a campus part time job with random ass hours or something. Which brings me to another point...

My internship is still going pretty well. Due to other interns quitting early, I now work alone every day I'm there, which is a little annoying, but also kind of nice in a weird way. The small difference in the amount getting done without them is kind of pathetic in terms of how little they actually got done. I also don't understand what I did first semester. I'm working 3 days a week and still have time to get all my school work done and go to all my classes and such. I'm doing a tad more work on the weekends this semester, but not much. What the hell did I do during what must have been hours each day of completely free time?

I gave my first Capitol tour on Friday as well. Due to the influx of tourists (damn them always) for the National Cherry Blossom Festival and generally good weather, the official tour guides are all booked and I have to pick up the slack for our constituents. Did the training a week ago, which was very good, since my very first group had a wheelchair involved, meaning all the mobility-impaired access routes we learned for hours a week ago really came in handy. Only got lost looking for a wheelchair ramp once! Of course, I did that right as I ran into a friend from school who was randomly there, which was a little embarrassing. Oh well.

You all know how I love random facts. Now I am required to know a bunch of them about the Capitol building. Fun.

Friday night I went to see I Love You, Man with some friends. It was okay. I laughed quite a bit during it, but by the end (especially the final scene) I was very ready to be done with it. Looking back I don't think I can remember a single joke from during it. Wonder if I would have laughed if other people around me weren't. That's okay though, 'cuz the social dynamics of the evening provided me with plenty of mental laughter.

Saturday and today can pretty much be summed up in one word: research. Checked out 13 books from the library, most of them having been written in the 60s. Always a joy. Plenty of time spent on EBSCO and JSTOR too. Might be headed to the Library of Congress tomorrow after work to go through their microfilm of local papers in Georgia during the 60s.

Got to chill with a semi-new friend last night after my brain officially turned off. I really like enjoying new people. It's such a nice little surprise. Plus it's fresh and I can recycle all my good stories again. Will be harder next year as I got assigned to the shitty dorm building full of anti-social singles across campus from everyone else. Great.

I'm noticing more and more that I crave a social atmosphere. I used to think of myself as relatively introverted, but I'm seeing that that isn't really very true. Whether it's in a group or one-on-one I am just happier to be around people in general. At least I am conscious of it now, since then I can act to make it happen.

On the horizon for this week is 25 pages of writing spread across two papers. The first (which I have been doing all the research for) covers the effects of apportionment changes in Georgia in the 1960s. The second is some theoretical international politics thing about solving global warming. I should combine them into a theory about black power overcoming carbon dioxide through balanced representation. Right.

So, so crazy that 5 weeks from now I will be done with freshman year and back chilling at home. Ridiculous. Really need to figure out where to store/ship all my crap and what to do over the summer.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Spring Break Wrap

Now that I finally have a few minutes, I can write a proper blog post! Break was busy, in a very good way. School this week has been busy, in a less good way. Still okay though, since I got through it intact and just in desperate need of some sleep (soon!).

It's weird. It feels like I hung out with Neri and Arjun a month ago, but not less than two weeks have passed. I always forget just how funny Neri can be. It was a very nice respite from the boredom of having almost no one else home during my break.

Of course, I took some of that into my own hands by forcing Chery and Crystal to put up with me for a few days in so cal. (thanks) Even the solitary drive down really wasn't that bad. Good time to get mentally organized and catch up on music I had been wanting to listen to. Yes, my playlists are always pretty screwy, but that just makes them more fun. I even got to remind myself of some hilariously awesome teen movies from my childhood, Neri.

I was pleasantly impressed by how much I liked both of their friend groups, which always provides a nice boost of faith in humanity. I didn't go down expecting not to like them, I just know I am generally a finicky person and it wouldn't have surprised me if we just didn't happen to mesh well at all. It does make me a little sad to notice how far away I am from everyone and that I am not likely to be visited much. I want to show off too!

It's also been nice to have people notice my (über-light) tan from break, probably from the beach trip. Plus their jealousy at me having gotten to go to a beach in the middle of March (and enjoy it). I need to remember to put on sunscreen before umpiring when I get home for the summer, otherwise I will probably burn to a crisp. And that would suck. Especially with whatever job/internship I end up having. Because of sleeves or something.

This summer is going to be fun.

I also have to register for Fall classes in about a week, and need to decide if I want a grueling schedule that allows me to have an internship easily along with it (so all schoolwork is crammed together—like this semester) or if I want to set one up that lets me relax some and blow off having an internship. I am leaning toward doing a repeat of the craziness of this semester, even though taking a language with it may be the straw that break me.

How long does the friend group comfort last? It is still going strong now, but certainly won't be forever. A couple years? Through college? 10 year reunion? Always a network to fall back on? Questions, questions, interesting indeed.

One other thing I have decided. Crystal could be a great politician. She's driven, image conscious, and capable of setting guidelines for herself. But a lot of people have that. The real thing she has going for her is an innate ability to make people feel special when they interact with her. It's what Bill Clinton could do (and can!) that served him so well ('til Monica). It's often noted as the trait that sets true superstars away from those who rise just through persistent hard work. I think watching her work a crowd in 20 years could be a sight to see. Plus she's weird enough to keep some sanity when going through the daily grind of it all.

I wish I had that. Would save me from having to be a workaholic.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

3 More Days

So excited.

My geology class, which I have a midterm in the day after break, has this crazy teacher. She is basically exactly what you would expect a large female geologist to look like. Yes, there is a bandanna. We now get our midterm online during break and can work on it all we want, but still come in and take it on the day after without any notes, so basically just regurgitating what we figured out earlier and then memorized. Seems dumb.

I'm also taking a history class about race and politics in the US since 1945. It strikes me almost daily in class how one-sided everything is. And no one ever says anything contrary. For example, we watched a video today all about the election of the first black mayor of Cleveland. It switches between blacks proclaiming his greatness and how he will understand their issues (95% of the black vote went to him) and whites skittishly admitting they want a white mayor (52% voted for him anyway). The music changes from inspiring to harsh, you can only hear the questioner against the whites, and even the lighting makes the white people look like terrible human beings. The black people railing against the whites for voting against him for being black need to look in the mirror and ask why they are really voting for him. No candidate gets 95% of any demographic based on issue positions. Call it reverse-racism or whatever else you want, but it's just as dumb as the white bigots.
(The one main difference I see between this and Obama is that this was a primary, whereas Obama won 95% of the black vote in the general, where at least 80% always goes to the Democrat anyway. Doesn't completely excuse it and it was definitely present in his primary too, but it's a little different to me.)

So everyone knows gays are the next up on the social rights agenda. Don't ask, don't tell will probably end in early 2010 and gay marriage will continue to progress (at a slow pace). What's next after fixing up the lives of the homosexuals? I'm hoping for some progress for those of us who don't believe in Him. The most recent survey shows 2.3% (and growing!) of the nation agrees, which makes it statistically equivalent to the gay population in the US. Hard to pursue an agenda with such an unfocused group and few issues to easily solidify around. I'll take a crackdown on churches flaunting tax exemption laws and advocating politics illegally and a decrease in the amount of religion seen in public ceremonies to start. Wouldn't mind taking 'under God' (back) out of the pledge. Quite a few other things...

I hope to see an open atheist as a serious presidential candidate sometime in my life. Hopefully I'll be running his/her campaign. Should be fun to figure out how to assure Florida s/he isn't going to sell them to the devil for extra sex and drugs.

In case you are wondering about the history of it, there has been one Member of Congress ever who was openly atheist. His name is Pete Stark and he is currently serving in the House representing the area around from Alameda down to Fremont. We have a ways to go.

AI Predictions (7/9 so far):
Out: Michael, Jasmine
Close: Jorge, Anoop
Surprise: Judges pick eliminated contestant out of bottom 2/3

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

I just read this book by Clay Risen (who is speaking in my history class tomorrow) about the riots after King's assassination. Most interesting fact: San Francisco, knowing that rioting was likely the night after it happened, paid James Brown to give a concert that would be broadcast on TV and keep the blacks home watching it instead of out and rioting. Absolutely genius.

I'm really hoping that after spring break I am good at being a student again. I think I'm learning what it's like to be stupid. How scary.

Speaking of spring break... 9 days. Excited.

My predictions failed me once again. 2/3 is not acceptable. I will do better.

p.s. Join Twitter.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Riveting

Why is it that books always become more exciting with about 50 pages left? I'm not talking only about novels here either. How can a non-fiction book or how-to guide so consistently make you want to rush through the last 50 pages and finish it? Is it just the desire to be done? Is it a mental reaction to feeling only that many pages in your right hand left to read? Is it conditioned into everyone (or just me?) from reading novels that have a reason to be exciting during this part?

Massages are great. This has always been my opinion, probably moreso than most of you losers who only think that you like massages. I have, however, never had a professional one, only fake ones by friends and family. That has changed. My back had been sore all week and I got around to looking up reviews of local places on Yelp and it turns out there is a great place a couple blocks away, so I decided to go for it. Half hour appointment. The guy, who was unique(!) but good at his job, ended up working on me for over an hour and then trying to give me more of a discount. Basically amazing. When I am old and not poor, this is so a luxury I am going to take advantage of.

I want to try acupuncture sometime too. Just not at a sketchy place. Not sure if non-sketch places exist. Plus how much does it cost? One of you must know/have a family member who does it for a living. Haha. Not you Natalie.

C thinks my fashion tips to her are amusing and that I should put them up here. They're so obviously correct I don't know if I should bother with typing them up.

My American Idol predictions hit a bump this week with only 2/3 correct. Underestimated America's musical taste in not voting for joke guy whose name I can't remember.

Quickies:
School: Midterms last week. Midterms next week. Meh. I was annoyed with my A- in comparative politics. Should have just taken that AP test and seen if I could pass it. Bleh. Geology sucks. My professor has this verbal tic where she ends most sentences by almost-yelling "OKAY?" History also sucks.

Work: Has its ups and downs. With the stimulus done and a little bit less legislative craziness, we are having to send out a ton of letters, responding to all the comments about the stimulus (and random abortion crap). So some days it's basically dealing with letters all day, and that blows a little. Other days it's very interesting and I have a variety of tasks thrown at me and get to wander around the Capital grounds and get myself lost and found and such. Plus I got a new boss two weeks ago and he is starting to utilize me more since I actually know what I am doing (most days).

Baseball: Definitely want to do more umpiring this season, and have to figure out how to work that out along with a work schedule. It's exciting to see the umpire message boards start to come alive as the season starts. Always a fun time of the year. Also have to decide if I want to teach again this year for a week over the summer. Once again with possible job conflicts...

Love: Who the **** knows?

Books: [May as well finish where I started for some cyclical good karma or whatever.] Finished Telling Lies today, which was a pretty interesting exploration of approaches to discovering lies. Very technical and odd in some parts. Written by the guy who inspired the new tv show Lie to Me.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Stuck in a rut

Ugh. Just not feeling it right now. Not at all. My entire body is achy, I've been bored all night, and I really need to fix this and make sure it won't be a pattern. Shift back to week-1 Nate, not present-day Nate. If this becomes a pattern then I'm pretty much screwed for a good long while. Damn.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Not Spellchecked

Okay, so I haven't written a real blog post in almost a month, but since you are probably just finishing up that one, I figure I am not too terrible. Yes, I did steal this form of joke straight from anything talking about Benjamin Button. Which I still haven't seen because the world hatesloves me.

I think it's fair to say a lot has been going on since then. It might be monotonous, but its a lot in terms of sheer tonnage. Work has been going well. I have gotten to the point where I know what to do with almost anything that is sent along to me, which cuts down on having to ask questions and is a nice feeling. Still some random things I don't know though. Getting lost in the basement of the Capitol is always good for a few minutes of fun before running into a police officer who knows the magical way out.

Last week was a big week. With all the stimulus action happening, it was not exactly a breeze, but still quite a bit of fun. Always more enjoyable to work when you feel needed. Thriving under pressure is always what I have felt I do best.

School is... school. None of my classes are very interesting. The one upper-level course I am taking along with my slew of requirement-satisfiers blows chunky vomit. It's sad too, since Race and Politics in the US is a very interesting topic, especially right now. Professor just can't get it together and actually teach anything. Seems to be geared more toward history majors who want to sit around and ruminate on the finer points of the irony of the fall of the first reconstruction being paired with the increase in competence of pre-elected black officials. Sounds like a barn-burner, eh?

I have been reading quite a bit in free time, trying to power through books on my book list. Feel free to check it out over on the right. After Team of Rivals took me forever and a half to finish, it's nice to speed through some books on other topics. I'm also finally getting back to my high-school norm of reading at least two books for pleasure at any one time in addition to my assigned reading. Yes, it is extremely nerdy. Yes, it is very fun. Yes, this is a large part of how I know so much random crap. For all you comm and psych majors, I highly recommend the Luntz book on the 2nd list, Words That Work. It's written from a right-wing perspective, but contains plenty of fascinating evidence of how our minds interpret different phrases.

I've been trying to break out of some of my wholesome dorkiness, partly through music. The famed Music Thread is providing a lot of listening for me lately, and I have been trying to listen to everything that comes across it at least once. I am not quite succeeding in full, but am doing a lot better than I ever did before, so I'm happy. Plus today I got hooked on some old Michael Jackson stuff for some reason. Caused nostalgia about the 2001 Anniversary concert for him and that led to reminiscing about 6th grade and the ridiculousness that was that year (hi Kathy, hehe). Plus downloaded some MJ for fun listening.

I have this theory. We're all a lot more nerdy than we let on (or think we let on, at least). I feel like the internet has created a generaiton of people with asocial habits that they hide from their social life at all costs. Or at least partially. Okay maybe this isn't a theory but just a random thought that is terribly developed.

Also that a de-friend button should exist in real life and act instantaneously. Would be amazing.

I have been failing pretty consistently at getting an adequate amount of sleep. Although really all its done to me now is shift how much sleep I need downward. I can easily survive a day on six hours now, and sleep in less on weekends even after long nights. Which is why I can be writing this after midnight, without having showered yet, when I have work tomorrow morning. Irresponsible!

I'm very excited for Spring Break. Even though I won't get to spend much time with most of you losers who all have vacation the week after me. At least I will get to chill extensively with some people. Hmph!

Some housekeeping:
Safe: Danny, Alexis, Michael
Barely out: Ricky, noop, Tatiana

If you're not Taylor Swift, don't try to sing her songs. Miley Cyrus, Stevie Wright, and anyone else, this is for you.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Read This

Read the whole thing, it's fascinating. One key passage:
China is a prime example of where these trends are coming together. It has more Internet users than any other country, at nearly 300 million, and more than 600 million mobile users — 600 million! Twenty-five years ago, Apple launched the Mac as "the computer for the rest of us." Today, the computer for the rest of us is a phone.

This means that every fellow citizen of the world will have in his or her pocket the ability to access the world's information. As this happens, search will remain the killer application. For most people, it is the reason they access the Internet: to find answers and solve real problems.

Our ongoing challenge is to create the perfect search engine, and it's a really hard problem. To do a perfect job, you need to understand all the world's information, and the meaning of every query. With all that understanding, you then have to produce the perfect answer instantly. Today, many queries remain very difficult to answer properly. Too often, we force users to correct our mistakes, making them refine their searches, trying new queries until they get what they need. Meanwhile, our understanding of the interplay between high-quality content, search algorithms, and personal information is just beginning.

Why should a user have to ask us a question to get the information she needs? With her permission, why don't we surf the web on her behalf, and present interesting and relevant information to her as we come across it

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dreaming of a white... Holocaust Memorial Day?










A nice view out my window this morning. I think we ended up getting a little over an inch, but it's not like I am good at knowing how much snow there has been!



The alternate campus a few miles away where I have stats this semester was pretty pretty:

Monday, January 26, 2009

Quotatious



stop sending happy emoticons about a shell of a life
-S
A little sassy don't you think?

Friday, January 23, 2009

A New Era

So minus the shitty update of Sunday evening, I haven't updated this thing since I got settled in back at school for semester #2. Like I mentioned before, it really is a little weird to be back. I still can't quite put my finger on it but my relationships with some people here have definitely altered. Wonder if it's because of not caring about each other over break. Doesn't really matter what it is.

Forgive me if I sound a little emo right now. I haven't quite ridded myself of everything I was exposed to at a PostSecret event I attended tonight. Frank Warren, the creator of it, came here on his tour of college campuses to give his presentation and hold a bit of open discussion. First things first, his voice is creepily annoying. It's sort of a cross between kindergarten teacher and psychiatrist with extra fake happiness inserted in there somehow. Now okay, whatever, doesn't really matter, but it combined with his permanent smile made me think he was faking all emotion and really some depressed dude. Kind of threw me off the whole time. The discussion time was different than I thought it would be. I guess I should have expected a self-selected audience of 1,500 to include those willing to share dark secrets, but it still seems weird.

It might just be me, but hear me out on this. Writing/drawing/arting the fact that you almost killed yourself onto an anonymous postcard for the world to see as a vehicle of expression makes sense. You release it and it's out there but still your secret in all practical ways. Standing up in a theater of 1,500 peers and half-sobbing through a story about almost killing yourself makes a lot less sense. Yes, you get it out there, but it's no more effective than just telling people you see on the street or in class or whatever. Loses a lot of its luster for me. I'm sure it helps people somehow, but it also seems to be a huge attention-grabbing thing. But then again that's the main reason behind most half-assed suicide attempts anyway.

Warren also repeatedly extolled the virtues of a toll-free suicide hotline (1-800-SUICIDE) and how it has saved tons of lives. Sounds like a good idea and there is no reason to be against it, but the political scientist inside of me questions his data. How many people who decide to call in to a hotline like that actually want to kill themselves? Not very many. People who call in want to be talked out of it and will take any excuse to get out of it. Where do you think all the "I was going to kill myself but the cashier smiled at me so I didn't" stories come from? People who actually want to die just do it, they don't make calls and talk about it in filled theaters.

I do respect the one brave guy who stood up and defended suicide as a courageous move. Not something to be supported necessarily but also not something to be labeled as illogical behavior. My argument against suicide is that it doesn't really get me anything. Either there is an afterlife and I just spiked any chance at heaven I ever had by committing the ultimate sin of ending myself, or there isn't and I am just over now. I guess being over could have its advantages when looked at from the depths of depression, but it's just so un-American to not think you have another shot. Unless doctors have given you a death sentence or something similar. Then sell your house and have fun traveling until it gets too painful.

It does scare me how many people I have known in my life have contemplated or tried to kill themselves though. It's nice that they are all failures.

I'm also not sure I understand the current obsession society has with letting go of secrets. Secrets aren't unhealthy. It's how you know you have a grasp on life. Every time Warren referred to the "inner darkness" (his kindergarten-esque euphemism for suicidal thoughts) and how sharing releases it I wanted to ask why we want our outer world to be more dark. Also the bullshit that is him referring to stories from his past that he has told thousands across the country as secrets. No dude, those are shitty anecdotes you use to help sell books, not secrets. Also constantly calling himself an artist. Sure dude, in the broadest sense you are, but have a slice of humble pie once in a while.

He was like a motivational speaker but instead of motivating one from being average to being great, he was attempting to move people from being terrible to acceptable. Not exactly inspirational.

I end this way-too-long section with two poems from Amiri Baraka:

Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus...

Things have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there...
Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands


Monday in B-Flat

I can pray
all day
& God
wont come.

But if I call
911
The Devil
Be here

in a minute!


Inauguration day was ridiculous. Make sure that some time in your life you make an effort to get out to an event with a gargantuan crowd. Simply having 1.8 million other people alongside you creates incredibly energy. Standing around in the cold for a few hours to see 20 minutes of an acceptably good speech (more on that in a bit) isn't the most fun thing in the world, but being there for history really is great. I can't wait to tell my kids (and grandkids) that I was there.

We went around 8 am and got up to the third jumbotron back in the non-ticketed area, which was close enough for a pretty good view of the capitol, even if we couldn't really see any of the people upon it. The screen worked pretty well for that. I can't believe they screwed up the oath. Only in real life.

My two favorite moments from the speech:
1) "We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers."
For what I think has been pointed out as the first time in a major presidential speech, atheists are included. I also love the fact that he didn't use a bible at his second swearing in. Go go Obama!
2) "As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals."
I think this is the line that is going to resonate from this speech throughout his term and maybe history. It so perfectly encapsulates his world view as being more than black and white.

As I mentioned above, I didn't think it was the greatest thing he's ever done, but it fit the moment well. A speech full of lofty rhetoric would not have suited a moment where he was calling on the country to come together not to succeed but to not fail (kind of like an appropriate application of Warren's fucked logic, in a way).

I put this list together for S, but thought some of you might be interested. The biggest speeches of Obama's career in chronological order:
2002 Anti-War
2004 Keynote
Announcement
JJ Dinner +
Iowa ++
Race
St. Paul +++
DNC
Election Night
Inauguration
For anyone wondering, no we are not a "post-racial" nation. We're improving little bit by little bit, but we have a long way to go.
My internship and classes have both been progressing without too much of an issue. My internship feels shorter than it is, which is very nice. I was worried going in that the end of every day would be constant staring at the clock mentally ready to leave. You know, the state I am in by the end of my packed Tuesday and Thursday schedules (8 am to 6 pm with a lunch break may not have been the best of ideas...).

With the internship, it's certainly not that I am getting to work on especially cool tasks, but more that I am understanding more every day of simply how the office works and how the Congressman's life is run. Pretty interesting stuff. Plus I get to go to plenty of cool places. Not every job lets you get lost for a while in the basement of the U.S. Capitol building while looking for a House committee room. I might be crazy to be doing this, but I think it may just pay off in the long run.

My most interesting class this semester is my history course, covering "Race and Politics in the U.S. since 1945." We began with discussion of Obama and have now reversed course to cover Reconstruction. It can be a bit intimidating to be a white freshman in a class full of upperclassmen with a heavy sprinkling of African ancestry. Somewhat surprisingly enough, the most heated of dialogues have been between the black students and the students who happen to be black. They all need to read some Ta-Nehisi Coates and reflect. The biggest barrier for me in the class seems to be the touchy-feely approach of the professor. I am much more into the cynical motives behind the political actions than whether or not Lincoln actually cared about black people.

Shoes.com is amazing. At least so far. Free shipping and free returns for a year means shoe shopping is now a lot easier for me. Nothing like ordering five times as many pairs of shoes as I ever intended on keeping to make sure I got the right size and color. I like my new kicks. (Meher or Neri or somebody, come check that sentence to make sure I used my slang right!!!)

I need to get ahead on school stuff this weekend to keep from drowning in it (a 4-day weekend full of inaugural celebration didn't exactly lend itself to doing extra work). More than that I need to have random conversations with some of you I haven't talked to in a while. Don't fail me.

Next time I will try to not wait so long and hopefully stop myself from going on for six pages when I should be going to sleep instead. Oh well.

P.S. I had decided I felt defrauded by Warren before I went to PostSecret and saw the perfect postcard waiting there to express my feelings about it. He did admit to putting a secret of his own in each of his books... maybe he does it on the site too.