Cling

It's been a while since I've written in this space. I've been tumbling away, but sometimes you just have to go back to the blog and express. First, some catching up:

Winter break was fun. It wasn't exactly everything I had hoped it would be, and I can definitely feel all of us growing into our separate lives more and more as time goes on. In some ways it's a bit depressing, but it's also nice to watch. The easy, dumb, laid-back fun that comes easily is always nice to get back to. I think I timed my departure perfectly to prevent myself from getting too incredibly bored after the UCers left, but now I'm longing for more relaxation time.

The few days I spent near Philly visiting E were pretty great. Not the most restful of weekends, but a ton of fun. Meeting and fam and friends is always an experience, but it was survived with no disasters, and with a lot of fun mixed in. Going in I was definitely a little bit worried about getting through a full three days together without getting sick of each other's presence, but we thrived and kept up the happiness. More on that later, though.

I'm through my first week of the semester, and for the first time am legitimately worried about possibly having over-committed myself. On the face of it, interning 3 days a week while stacking my 5 classes on the other two is the same as last spring, which I quite enjoyed. Only now I also have college dems work/events on top of it, the classes I'm taking are harder, and the internship days are longer. Not sure if I'll survive at this rate. Thinking about asking to drop down to two days a week instead of three, but not sure if that will work.

The work itself is pretty mixed. Unlike last spring, I'm not in a really social office with constant interaction and plenty of interesting things going on. Where I am now is definitely plenty political, and has it's interesting parts, but is not that social. I have my own cubicle and get most of my assignments over e-mail, and it's just kind of a depressing way to spend the day, even when doing cool things. I certainly am learning a lot about gubernatorial candidates throughout the nation, though! Yay! hehe.

I'm also a little bit sad that I am not required to suit up for work this spring. Barney would be disappointed.

Classes are... classes. This is my first semester ever with no math, and it's a little bit weird to not think numerically at all for the entire week. No math means that everything is text-based, which is actually quite a bit of work. I also completely ignored my math classes, so having another class I should actually prepare for is going to be tough. But combined with work and my general apathy about classwork, I haven't been doing any of the reading for anything, and just generally have no idea what's going on in any class. Having all 5 of them in a row on Tuesdays and Thursdays (20 minutes breaks between each one to move between classes!) doesn't help that either, since they all kind of run together in my mind and I have no idea which syllabus had what on it. Oh well.

College Dems continues to be a good experience, although it really does add some hectic days into my schedule. Going straight from work to fast food dinner to setting up for an event doesn't leave much me time. I continue to be very pleased with the organization, though. We've made it much more social and really done a lot better at keeping a large and active base of members than in years past. Especially awesome since no big election fun this year to motivate people. This upcoming Friday we have our one-year Obama Inauguration anniversary party and it should be really good. Tons of political dorks who will be showing up prepared to have fun. And E has a cute dress to wear to it!

It's only been a week, but my body is sore all over and I'm pretty exhausted. Since classes haven't really ramped up yet, I've still been getting to hang out with E frequently, which is nice but certainly not perfect for my sleep schedule.

I continue to battle occasional feelings of hating it here. The group of friends I really want to have just doesn't exist, and that doesn't help my insecurity about being clingy with E. The whole thing kind of builds on itself and is just shittastic sometimes. I felt like being really busy would help push this aside and let me enjoy life more simply, but weekends are still weekends and not yet full of backed up classwork to use as an excuse for not doing fun things with fun people. One of these days I'll learn how to convert acquaintances into real friends and life will be better.