Status Quo

I'm happy. It's weird to say, but it's the truth as I have come to understand it.

This is pretty far from where I was a little over a week ago, as I experienced my first anxiety attack ever. Walked around campus and calmed myself by talking to K, who is absolutely amazing. Ended up coming back a little later and I resorted to talking to Katie, who I had avoided conversing with for almost a week in an effort to feel better.

That morning, I had written an emotional letter to her and dropped it in the mail. Such a nice way to release emotions.

By the time the next night was over with, I was happy. It had some to do with getting the position in the college democrats organization I wanted. It had a lot to do with having a fun weekend, which proved to me that I CAN still have fun. But I think it also had a lot to do with a fundamental internal shift away from thinking about what I could have had, and toward thinking about what I want to (and can) have.

I'm back to chasing cute girls and feeling let down when my clever little flirtatiousness is not returned. The thrill of the hunt is livening and something I have really missed. Although also not something I feel like experiencing frequently for TOO long.

Getting the college dems board position has been huge for me so far. Very nice to feel busy again. It's a much more active organization than I had realized even as a relatively active member. So much money involved, and a lot of really dedicated colleagues. Get to do some cool stuff!

P.S. I miss being around asian girls at home who always have their cameras with them and ready to go. My facebook picture list is failure.