Thursday, July 23, 2009

Four Letter Words

My mind seems full of them.

Currently in upstate New York at the family Camp I go to most summers. A place full of an infinite number of good memories for me. And yet it seems to have lost some of its magic. There have been flashes of brilliance during the week, but also long slogs through monotonous annoyances. What's been going on this week barely resembles what I recall so fondly from my childhood.

Maybe it's just because I was more ignorant then, but I don't think I had fully realized how separate my immediate family is from a lot of the extended family we run into here often. In terms of mindset and life situation, mostly. My brother seems to fall closer to the cousins than to myself and my parents. Can't wait to be rid of him for a while again.

I've decided summer sucks in comparison to shorter school breaks like Christmas and spring break. Everyone gets to encapsulated in doing their own thing that it feels nowhere as cohesive and is simply not as fun. Although I do love the chance to get back into umpiring. Even that is kind of annoying when I realize that the work I am doing and my upward movement in the organization could all be forgotten once I stop coming home every summer. Which could be after this one.

It's weird. At the same time I realize that I am enjoying Camp less than in years past, the only thing I can think about is introducing another to the experience. It would be incredibly different to bring someone, but I have decided it would be much better? Maybe?

I have never been good at living in the moment. Which I think helps me considerably professionally, but isn't the most fun trait currently in other ways.

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